Seen and Heard during trip to Galveston:

*Pelicans flying in formation
*A volunteer with a passion for teaching kids about conservation
*Dolphins in the wild
*Shrimp boats
*Oil derricks
*Pelicans skimming the ocean, inches above the water
*"This is so COOOOL!"
*Waking up to a seal looking down at me
*Seahorses
*"There's no way this trip can get better than this."
*Hotdogs on the beach
*Sandcastle contest
*Free coffee mugs from diners
*Giggling, laughing, screaming
*"Mrs. Hugheses!"
*eyes wide open
*sweetness and kindness in the midst of tiredness
*a bright, new, shiny shed
*sunburns
*thank you's
*"I'll come see you next year"

***sigh***

A Little Disturbing

I really appreciate my upbringing.  I truly do.  I know it sounds cliche'd, but the older I get the more I realize how much wisdom was imparted to me in my youth, and I'm so thankful for that.  It makes me grounded, and allows me to look at others through a different lens.

I guess that's why a conversation I had this week was so disturbing to me.  It was with a fellow christian.  I was talking about how alarming it was to be out of the States for 10 years, only to come back and see some of the shows that are on TV.  The shows the glorify pregnant teens is particularly disturbing to me.  In this conversation, I relayed my disappointment in how some of the girls my boys were interested in behaved.  They either tried to hang on them constantly, or expected them to drop everything and have the boys' worlds revolve around them.  (My point was that they were only going out, they weren't engaged.)  This person's response was that she told her kids they were not allowed to marry someone who's parents were divorced.  It stunned me into silence.  Aaaakwaaaard.

See, one of the things I was taught was that there's this little thing called grace.  It should be abundant in us, because it's been shown to us. In my opinion, and knowing this lady and others like her, this was about appearances. But I have to confess my own thoughts when coming to this realization.  It's a tad bit judgmental.  So how do I discourage this woman's thinking, without being confrontational, and in a way that will be received? 

I think, for me, it is to live an imperfect life.  Not a life with freedom to make mistakes without consequences or to flaunt and celebrate them, but to lay bare my struggles and show I am not perfect, but living under grace myself.  It's a huge risk, especially if critics abound.  However, I do believe it's the only way others can learn it's OK to let their imperfections show:  to see it lived out on a daily basis.

A friend recently wrote, "The process of emotional healing is only for the weak, the needy people broken and tired of who they have been, the ones who finally know their deep inner ugliness and will let God and others readily see it..for as long as it takes. And trust me, this will take some time."  

Time and courage.  Live a REAL life. 

Quiet Moments

"Be still and know that I am God."

It's hard to be still these days.  Truly.  There is so much going on in the world around us, so much to think about and so much to think ON.  Our pace is fast, we go here and there constantly, and we get upset when we actually have to wait for any length of time.

My prayer for all of you today is a chance to be still.  Think.  Reflect.  Worship.  Be thankful.  God created today, and His mercy is new each and every day.  Enjoy.

It's the quiet ones you have to watch

At first glance, he's very serious and professional.  He's intense about anything he does, whether it's yard work, backpacking, fixing cars, building things.  He always looks like he's got a lot on his plate, and has places to go and people to see.  And he's quiet.  He really doesn't speak a lot if he's not spoken to.  He's a lot like my big brother that way.  In fact, if you put those two in a room together, not a lot would be said, and they are completely OK with that.  But that's who Big Dad is. If the first glance is all you're going on, you can miss a lot.

You have to listen.  Even after almost 23 years, he still catches me off guard with his comments.  They. are. stinking. hilarious.  He has these random comments that he makes in response to things HE'S listening to, and believe me, he's always listening.  Responses to commercials and conversations, or even responses to his own thoughts, happen all the time.  They aren't mean, he's just participating with his own brand of humor.  When we hear him, we usually just bust out laughing. And that happens just about every day.

Our kids have stories and stories about Big Dad and his youth.  They've heard them a lot, and love hearing them.  They love telling them, too.  At this point, Big Dad's youth is legend around here.  The boys' friends hold him in reverence.  

We love having him around.  That's good, since he's my husband and the kids' father.  But his humor is one of the things that makes our family culture what it is, and it's what brings us together.  We think we'll keep him.

Rough week, but then not

This has been an exhausting week, both emotionally and physically.  It has been a week of tough cuts within our school district, and my position has been slated as one to cut.  Well, it's not just me, but they are cutting 10 positions down to 5.  In the end, I was one of the 5, but it's a bittersweet thing.  The group of people that make up our team are phenomenal women and teachers.  Our tight little group just got smaller, and we are going to miss those friends desparately.  They aren't jobless, mind you, but they won't be applying their talents where they are used best, either, and that makes me sad.  They'll be missed something awful.  There's also a bit of survivor's guilt going on that doesn't help things!

On the physical side, it's been a week of staying late on a daily basis.  Relay for Life was Friday night, and the prep was pretty rough, but again, so fun when working with such amazing women.  It's a lot of fun participating in that kind of work with crazy women.  I can say, though, that I've had nappy time visits regularly this weekend. I'm so thankful for a husband who let me sleep, took over cooking and cleaning so I could rest, and just let me recoup.  He's so thoughtful that way.

Next week will be busy, too, but not as much.  Testing is not my favorite thing (it's extremely boring from the teacher's perspective!) but I can't wait for these kids to show what they know.  They're ready.

At the end of this exhausting week, I count myself blessed, and can finally look forward to planning for next year.  It will be a good year. 

Who needs marbles with these thoughts rolling around in my head?

I don't know how I can have any deep, meaningful thoughts lately.  Work is keeping me so busy (I'm not complaining, mind you!), that I'm doing a lot of the "standing at the refridgerator door trying to figure out what I was looking for," or walking all the way to the office, only to forget the very thing I needed to bring.  There are a lot of noble causes, mind you.  However, lately I've found myself with a lack of clarity in my daily life.

But my sons and I have had some amazing talks, especially about spiritual matters, and the role of christians in everyday life.  Here in the states, we are programmed to think that only ministers are doing God's work, and those in ministry are the only ones in God's will when it comes to serving God.  But who are ministers serving?  That's been the "rolling around" thought.  Ministers in the states tend to serve and minister to christians.  So who reaches out into the communities?  Churches have the tendency to become inwardly focused.  Their lives become full of being around other christians.  How many christians intentionally put themselves out there to be around non-christians? 

What if a church set up a table outside Walmart that said, "Such and such church wants to pray for you" and accepted anonymous prayer requests?  Then, they actually spent time praying for those request?  What if we hosted sporting events for the community?  What if we were really out there?  What if we used our jobs to minister to others?  To let the idea of doing a job and doing it well serve as a testimony to those around us?  What if we kept our word and did what we said we were going to do?  It just might be revolutionary!

But these thoughts haven't been just about adults.  The American church tends to protect our kids and try to keep them from the evil of the world by schooling them ourselves.  I've been wondering, though, if that is how we need to be raising them?  We often complain that our kids have no values, that they are too into themselves and can't think beyond themselves.  I wonder if that's because we've taken away the opportunities that would allow them to grow?  I think about seeds, and how important gravity is to their growth process.  The root part of the seed grows with gravity, while the plant part grows against it.  The seed actually needs resistence to grow properly.  Are we protecting our children so much, that we're taking away that resistence? 

I've not solidified my thoughts here, but this is what's in here. *sigh*  Sometimes it's just exhausting!

Friends

I was thinking about my friends today.  I've always said I hate working with women.  It might be sexist to say it, even though I am a woman, but it's been my experience that working with a lot of women always brings with it a certain amount of drama.  And that amount of drama tends to be a bit more than I can tolerate.  I don't understand creating drama for drama's sake, and I have little respect for anyone who feels it necessary to try to alter another person's reputation for their entertainment or drama addiction.  The amount of damage that is done in careless fashion truly deserves solid consequences.

I like straight shooting, genuine and kind people, and value them immensely. The combination of qualities is important, because I've known straight shooting people, but the element of kindness wasn't there.  The idea of "I will say what I need to say and it's up to you to deal with it" is just an excuse to be mean.  Or, I've known people who were extremely kind, but so much so that they couldn't be straight with people for fear of being unkind.  Honest, real and nice is so valuable in today's world and is a rare combination.

Until now.  Now I find myself in the midst of people like this.  It's caused me to rethink my stance on working with women.  When it works, it works well.  Women have the ability to challenge each other and bring out strengths.  We can bear each other's burdens while at the same time encouraging each other without fear of being outdone.  We can be friends in the truest sense of the word.  We can set our agendas aside and rally around each other.  And we can put some of those other people in their place by not taking part in the pettiness and meanness.  It speaks volumes.

I don't know how long I will have the privilege of being around these women, but the lessons I've learned from them and the spirit of unity I've been a part of is something I will cherish and take with me for future friendships.  I'm proud to know them all.