Friday, May 27, 2011

A Little Disturbing

I really appreciate my upbringing.  I truly do.  I know it sounds cliche'd, but the older I get the more I realize how much wisdom was imparted to me in my youth, and I'm so thankful for that.  It makes me grounded, and allows me to look at others through a different lens.

I guess that's why a conversation I had this week was so disturbing to me.  It was with a fellow christian.  I was talking about how alarming it was to be out of the States for 10 years, only to come back and see some of the shows that are on TV.  The shows the glorify pregnant teens is particularly disturbing to me.  In this conversation, I relayed my disappointment in how some of the girls my boys were interested in behaved.  They either tried to hang on them constantly, or expected them to drop everything and have the boys' worlds revolve around them.  (My point was that they were only going out, they weren't engaged.)  This person's response was that she told her kids they were not allowed to marry someone who's parents were divorced.  It stunned me into silence.  Aaaakwaaaard.

See, one of the things I was taught was that there's this little thing called grace.  It should be abundant in us, because it's been shown to us. In my opinion, and knowing this lady and others like her, this was about appearances. But I have to confess my own thoughts when coming to this realization.  It's a tad bit judgmental.  So how do I discourage this woman's thinking, without being confrontational, and in a way that will be received? 

I think, for me, it is to live an imperfect life.  Not a life with freedom to make mistakes without consequences or to flaunt and celebrate them, but to lay bare my struggles and show I am not perfect, but living under grace myself.  It's a huge risk, especially if critics abound.  However, I do believe it's the only way others can learn it's OK to let their imperfections show:  to see it lived out on a daily basis.

A friend recently wrote, "The process of emotional healing is only for the weak, the needy people broken and tired of who they have been, the ones who finally know their deep inner ugliness and will let God and others readily see it..for as long as it takes. And trust me, this will take some time."  

Time and courage.  Live a REAL life. 

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